Funny Celebrity Quotes for Yearbook

funny celebrity quotes for yearbook

Looking for fun phrases or funny celebrity quotes for yearbook to have a nice time? In this article we collect 70 funny phrases and famous humor funny celebrity quotes for yearbook, so you can share with your friends.

A selection of the funniest and most ingenious phrases from anonymous or famous authors, that will make you laugh and reflect from the humor.

The best 70 funny celebrity quotes for yearbook

These funny and witty phrases will brighten your day and bring you a smile.

1. Intelligence haunts me, but I am faster

One of the wittiest funny phrases, ideal for joking with someone about your own intelligence.

2. The important thing is not knowing, but having the phone number of the person who knows

Because sometimes what matters is not knowing everything, but having access to information.

3. I do not suffer from madness, I enjoy it every minute

Another funny and witty phrase about insanity, which is sometimes very subjective.

4. Having a clear conscience is a sign of poor memory

One of the many phrases from comedian Steven Wright, who jokes that no one can ever have a clear conscience at all.

5. Don’t take life too seriously; you’ll never get out of it alive

Elbert Hubbard was a writer and artist who left us such famous and funny phrases like this.

6. I refuse to join any club that would accept me as a member

Groucho Marx also has a good compilation of funny phrases, some as famous as this one.

7. If the mountain comes to you? Run, it’s a collapse!

An ingenious phrase that jokes with the saying “If the mountain does not go to Muhammad, Muhammad goes to the mountain”.

8. I never forget a face, but in your case, I will be happy to make an exception

Another phrase of Groucho Marx that we can dedicate to someone of whom we do not want to know anything again.

9. I’m not afraid of death, I just wouldn’t want to be there when it happens

Director and actor Woody Allen also leave us with countless funny phrases, many of which joke about death.

10. I usually cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to food

American comedian and actor WC Fields uttered this phrase perfect for those who love drinking.

11. Better late, because in the morning I sleep

This witty phrase jokes with the popular saying, “Better late than never,” and takes a comic turn.

12. Absolute truth does not exist, and this is absolutely true

Another phrase to reflect on, funny because of the contradiction it manifests.

13. It is better to keep quiet and look stupid than to talk and finally clear your doubts

Again Groucho Marx shows off his ingenuity with this fun phrase, which many could apply.

14. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Like everyone else

Anthropologist Margaret Mead jokes with this phrase about people who feel special, and who, after all, are like everyone else.

15. There are two words that will open many doors: “pull” and “push”

If this phrase doesn’t make you smile, you lack a sense of humor.

16. When a woman says “what?”, It is not that she did not listen to you. It’s giving you a chance to change what you said

Surely many people with a partner feel identified with this phrase and will know that it is better to change the answer.

17. Sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand

Woody Allen also has a nice compilation of witty phrases about sex, like this one where he jokes about being alone and self-indulgence.

18. The one who is born poor and ugly has great possibilities that when growing … both conditions will develop

Or you may be lucky instead and end up as Cristiano Ronaldo.

19. I don’t believe in a life beyond, but just in case, I’ve changed my underwear

Another funny quote from Woody Allen about death and what lies ahead.

20. A crazy woman like me, she needs a screw-like you

This is a nice and fun phrase to dedicate to your boyfriend or the person you like.

21. Since loving each other doesn’t work, why don’t we try loving each other?

Phrase pronounced by the character of Mafalda in his comic strip, which always uses humor with ingenuity.

22. There is a better world, but it is very expensive

You can live better, but that always costs money.

23. Outside the dog, a book is probably man’s best friend, and inside the dog, it’s probably too dark to read

Another funny phrase from Groucho Marx that plays with double meanings.

24. I can resist anything but temptation

The writer Oscar Wilde was famous for his wit, which is well shown in this phrase.

25. Laziness is the mother of all vices, and as a mother … you have to respect it

The funny phrase that the laziest and lazy can use as justification.

26. Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese

Luis Buñuel phrase that many of us can use on our next birthdays.

27. I am not a completely useless, at least I serve as a bad example

Even those with more defects can be useful for something, according to this ingenious phrase.

28. I have to go to the eye doctor, but I never see the moment

A phrase of the most fun for its pun. See the joke

29. Some marriages end well; others last a lifetime

Another Woody Allen quote about love and relationships, this time joking about marriage.

30. I just wanted to tell you that someone cares, not me, but someone does care

The funny but cheeky phrase, only suitable to use with those friends with whom we have more confidence.

31. Life would be tragic if it wasn’t fun

The recently deceased Stephen Hawking left us this phrase about life and the importance of humor.

32. Sorry, if you were right, I would agree with you

Actor Robin Williams was known for his comical performances and for his witty and humorous phrases.

33. Toast to alcohol! Cause and at the same time solution of all life problems

This phrase is pronounced by the character of Homer in The Simpsons, a series characterized by telling great truths through large doses of humor.

34. Children, you have tried hard, and for what? Not at all. The moral is: Don’t push yourself

Again another classic and fun phrase that Homer utters in The Simpsons.

35. Don’t worry, at most the worst day of your life will only last 24 hours

Phrase with which we can try to cheer someone up with a little humor, or at least try to get a smile.

36. I’m so smart that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying

With this phrase, you can sin from belief, but Oscar Wilde was worthy to pronounce it.

37. Go to heaven for the weather, and to hell for the company

A funny phrase with rhyme from the writer Mark Twain, who is not without reason.

38. The clearest indication that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never attempted to establish contact with us.

Calvin and Hobbes’ comic strip was also characterized by telling great truths through biting humor. An example is this phrase.

39. The secret of life is honesty and fair treatment. If you can fake it, you got it done

Another ingenious phrase from the great Groucho Marx, who is also right.

40. The woman who has no luck with men … does not know how lucky she is

As with alcohol, men can also be the cause and solution to all our problems.

41. These are my principles. If you do not like, I have others

One of the most famous phrases that have always been attributed to Groucho Marx, although its origin is not very clear.

42. Save water. Don’t shower alone

We can use this ingenious phrase to flirt with another person or use it as an invitation.

43. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you will sleep alone

The writer Anthony Burgess changes the famous phrase of the poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox “Laugh and the world will laugh with you; cry and you will cry alone ”, adding the humorous turn of snoring.

44. You have to work eight hours and sleep eight hours, but not the same

Unless you get paid to sleep at work. Another fun quote from Woody Allen.

45. My son, happiness is made of little things: A small yacht, a small mansion, a small fortune …

Little things are sometimes very expensive. Another phrase to laugh at Groucho Marx.

46. ​​You are not Google, but you have everything I am looking for …

A funny phrase to use as a flirt or to let the person know that we want to be perfect.

47. It is not true that every past time was better. What happened was that those who were worse still had not realized

Again Mafalda combines social denunciation and humor in a single sentence.

48. Since women are better at producing babies, nature has presumably given men some talent to make up for it. But I still haven’t found it

Writer and scientist Arthur C. Clarke were also known for his sarcasm, and this phrase is a great example.

49. I always wanted to be someone, but now I realize that I should have been more specific

Comedian and screenwriter Lily Tomlin has this phrase so funny that she jokes about becoming “someone.”

50. Life is hard. After all, it kills you

Phrase by Katharine Hepburn, known for being one of the smartest and smartest actresses in Hollywood.

51. Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid

Hedy Lamarr was also an actress highly valued for her beauty, but she was always more than just a pretty face.

52. There can be no crisis next week. My agenda is already full

Henry Kissinger displayed his sarcastic humor when pronouncing this phrase that jokes with the inevitability of some events.

53. My parents didn’t hit me; they did it only once: they started in February 1940 and ended in May 43

Another funny phrase from the American actor and director Woody Allen.

54. Sex is the most fun you can do without laughing

Sex was a recurring theme in Woody Allen’s humor, as this phrase shows.

55. I used to think I’m indecisive, but now I’m not sure

Another phrase to laugh at that plays with the grace of contradictions.

56. My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met

Actor and comedian Rodney Dangerfield jokes about unhappiness after marriage.

57. Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I have done it a thousand times

Writer Mark Twain jokes about the difficulty of quitting tobacco, one of the biggest vices for many people.

58. If you are going to do something tonight that you will regret tomorrow morning, sleep late

Phrase as funny as ingenious, that the humorist Henny Youngman left us.

59. Marriage is the main cause of divorce

Another fun phrase about the unhappiness of marriages. This is from Groucho Marx.

60. We are all here on earth to help others; what I don’t know is why the others are here

Phrase of the poet and essayist WH Auden, to reflect with humor.

61. I don’t want to work as a bus driver, because I don’t like passing things

Another of the best funny phrases for its witty pun.

62. A hangover is the wrath of grapes

Playwright Dorothy Parker takes advantage of John Steinbeck’s famous novel “The Grapes of Wrath” to make this fun play on words.

63. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty years old. Now he’s ninety-seven, and we don’t know where the hell he’s at

Ellen DeGeneres is currently one of the most popular and respected comedians in show business, this phrase is an example of her humor.

64. The problem with having an open mind is, of course, that people insist on trying to put things into it

Director and screenwriter Terry Pratchett humorously talk about persuasion attempts on those who think differently.

65. Comedy is simply a fun way to be serious

Sometimes humor serves to deal with serious issues in a different way. This phrase of the actor and writer Peter Ustinov sums it up well.

66. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy; I asked for a second opinion and he said it was ugly too

Another funny phrase ideal to share on networks or make your friends laugh.

67. OMG give me patience, but please give it to me now!

Patience is a virtue that not everyone has.

68. Two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure of the first

One of the most popular phrases by Albert Einstein, who had a great sense of humor.

69. Children are smarter than any of us. Do you know how I know? I don’t know a single child with a full-time job and children

Bill Hicks was an American comedian and monologist, with a very sarcastic sense of humor .

70. I plan to live forever or die trying

We finish listing one of the funniest and most ingenious phrases of Groucho Marx.

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